I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
