I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
