Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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