He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
