we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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