I never want to see another naked old woman again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
