actually, I'm a sock model
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
did i just pee glitter
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
