I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
