Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
