I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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