there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
