Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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