My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
