jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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