In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
