am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
