shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
as a side note pls kill me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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