you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
