How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
