Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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