I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
