so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
