I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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