why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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