He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
you never un-have a 4some
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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