did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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