Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
this just has baby written all over it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
