Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize