where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
