I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
