How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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