She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
