so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize