Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
