Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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