Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
