im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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