I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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