So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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