currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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