how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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