You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
This is not my ceiling
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
