I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
