i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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