We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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