i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
