I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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