I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize