We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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