This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
