If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
