You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
