He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
