You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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