but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
