I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.