Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?