Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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