a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.