Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...