we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?