who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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