he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
